is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
