mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
