Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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