you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.