I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
