Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
