i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
