never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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