I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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