I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
