So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize