I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
