my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
