im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
