I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
