Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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