All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
