Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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