all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
