god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
