We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
