like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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