I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
