KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
