I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
