so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
