i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
