I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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