so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
