I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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