She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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