its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
being pregnant is like rehab
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
