ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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