I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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