Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
