I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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