If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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