great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
