So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
