The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
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We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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