If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
