We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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