Are my feet made of real feet?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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