do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We left the knife in your bed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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