I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize