Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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