Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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