the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
