her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
