I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
