I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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