so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
