the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
