Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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