I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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