I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
True college students do jello shots in the library
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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