You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
