I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
