So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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