god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
